the girly who shall end all girls

picked this up on Tumblr, where I think you're supposed to have people pick the questions but meh. I like this list better than the classic questionnaire I've used before

End of the year Asks

1. Song of the year? I Don’t Wanna Dance with Nobody by Sub-Radio
2. Album of the year? I don’t think I listened to a full album that was new-to-me this year. I feel like singles are bigger than ever, and between that and my not being particularly connected to drivers of new music (other than Spotify) I just don’t discover or listen to albums end-to-end.
3. Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? I think I technically discovered Sub-Radio last year, so it would have to be Kishi Bashi. I went to his film Omoiyari at SIFF Docs Fest, kind of on a whim, and it was quite good.
4. Movie of the year? Recency bias, but god damn Godzilla Minus One is amazing. Crying at a monster movie over a dude with PTSD was definitely not on my bingo card for 2023.
5. TV show of the year? Oof. There were all the queer love stories - Our Flag Means Death, Good Omens, Interview with the Vampire. The one-two punch of Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks (and the crossover!). There was my indoctrination into dropout.tv. I think, in spite of being uneven overall (no, the musical episode wasn’t good) it would have to be Strange New Worlds.
6. Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Probably the one that’s been quoted constantly in my house since it first aired: Lower Decks “I Have No Bones Yet I Must Flee”. Moopsy!
7. Favorite actor of the year? While not technically a 2023 joint, I watched it in 2023 - Eric Bogosian in Interview with the Vampire was a favorite performance.
8. Game of the year? Jedi Survivor. It’s always good to be a Jedi, and the storytelling in this one was top-notch.
9. Best month for you this year? This year was complicated. It might have been January, when I went to Disneyland with mimerki.
10. Something that made you cry this year? Well, my best friend died and that generated a lot of tears both before and after. My runner-up for “movie of the year” is Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. I encourage folks to watch it, it’s sweet and funny. But if you have seen it: I saw it after mimerki had started palliative care, and the end absolutely wrecked me. (I do not recommend ugly crying in an n95 mask, it gets hard to breathe.) And she died the next day, so yeah
11. Something you want to do again next year? If I can find the time and money, I’d love to do a quick trip to Disneyland and get C to Galaxy’s Edge. It’s really not hard to do from here and I love how walkable it is inside and out.
12. Talk about a new friend you made this year Not something I managed: first I was being very covid-cautious, then I was very sad (and busy), then I was just busy.
13. How was your birthday this year? Dismal. I had covid and lost my sense of taste for a couple weeks.
14. Favorite book you read this year? The Hands of the Emperor by Victoria Goddard. On the one hand, it’s a fantasy novel about implementing UBI, and burnout, and friendship. It’s also about someone who leaves home and is successful in ways that aren’t meaningful to their family of origin. (While I think it could have used a ruthless edit, I also think that might have stripped out most of what is good about it. It’s just a long warm bath of a book.)
15. What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Buying coffee and a pastry way too often (because neither of us could manage to consistently plan for breakfast).
16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year [the Millennium Falcon in a spaceport setting with rock spires in the background]
17. Post a picture from the end of the year
    [the view from Kerry Park in Seattle, featuring the Space Needle and Mt Rainier]
18. A memorable meal this year? Our anniversary was a significant one and we kind of forgot about it, then managed to snag a last-minute reservation at The Herbfarm a few days after. They were absolutely brilliant with C’s dietary needs. It’s totally worth the money.
19. What’re you excited about for next year? I remembered our anniversary earlier this time, and we finally snagged a reservation for a cabin at a resort on the Pacific Coast that’s well-known for being dog friendly. Looking forward to walking the beach and/or watching the waves roll in by the fire.
20. What’s something you learned this year? When you die in the US, you become a business for tax purposes. The SSN is retired, and the estate gets an EIN just like a business.
21. What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? My whole place of residence is new! I am sitting in front of my fireplace right now, looking at the lights of the cityscape out my window. It’s awesome
22. Favorite place you visited this year? Galaxy’s Edge. If you love Star Wars, it's a delight. (yes, I really liked Disneyland)
23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? You always feel better after you get some exercise, don’t skip it.
24. Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I don’t think I made any
25. Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one Currently playing Worlds Without Number with the Friday group. Our party is all from a somewhat isolated coastal island and we’re slowly exploring the wider world. I rolled randomly for pretty much everything and then crafted a character based on the stats. So he’s Buck, the butcher’s apprentice; he’s strong and kind but not very bright. I found a picture of a rugby player that I really like for him - square-headed and plain with a great smile.

It rained. A lot. So much mud.

Fortunately, Mom (who didn’t want to ruin her sneakers) suggested that we look for rain boots last night. It’s rural enough here that there was a Tractor Supply Co a short drive away, and cute patterned rubber boots were a whole $20. Totally worth it. Our feet stayed warm and dry and I made sure to go to every damn vendor in a tent because they were not having a nice day.

I shopped victoriously: a store had the level winder attachment for my e -spinner that has been out of stock from the manufacturer for some time. It cost a little more than my EEW6 did, but everyone at the spin-in tonight assured me that it was going to change my life :D

I got to see the Neighborhood Fiber Co peeps in person (I bought their merch, Mom bought their yarn). I was sad that the Ketanji Brown Jackson colorway was a blue I would never use (and I honored mimerki’s request to not bring them yarn).

My spinning class got me fired up about color blending so I bought some fiber with that in mind. We only stayed through mid afternoon today - the cold damp was hard on Mom’s joints and honestly I was tired too - walking through squishy mud in rubber boots uses some muscles I don’t usually engage in city life. So while we were lolling in the hotel room I knit my last sample yarn into a single scant fingerless mitt instead of a swatch. I love it and it makes me more excited about my idea for the fiber that I bought.

Dinner ran a little later than planned but I still got back to the fairgrounds for most of the Saturday night spin-in. I missed almost all of the contests and drawings (event advertised for three hours, all giveaways happened in hour one). I made fast friends with my power strip and ended up in a group of five random folks - 3 EEW6, 1 Sidekick (my treadle wheel at home), and one DIY wheel. The DIY was a determined high schooler - she learned on a borrowed Louet and decided to repro it in wood shop because she didn’t have money. So she did, including 3D printing her bobbins and painting both sides of the wheel. The kids are alright. The other EEW peeps were an immigrant from Gothenburg Sweden and someone who spends the winter mushing her Malamutes. The Sidekick person grows her own indigo and does shibori. Spinners are a bunch of weirdos and I love them.

Also got to squee today with someone about buying knitting nerd Tee Turtle shirts at gaming and comics conventions (we feel so seen), and a couple passing comments about the SHIELD patch on my jacket.

We also saw some sweet sheep being combed, trimmed, and fluffed for the show ring. Surprise highlight at the end of the day: bakery stand by the gate with delicious flavored scones (I had lemon-ginger, Mom had cranberry-orange. We’ve determined that tomorrow with start with those instead of ending with them.)

Hopefully tomorrow Mom will be up for standing through the sheep dog demos. (SHEEP DOG DEMOS!) And maybe some of the sheep to shawl competition.

C and I are taking a long weekend on Whidbey Island for our anniversary (observed).* we're in a ridiculously well-appointed cottage on a farmette with goats and chickens, surrounded by lush NW woods. i think the only thing missing from the kitchen was a meat thermometer. (like, there's an espresso machine and an immersion blender and a waffle maker and some kind of milk foaming machine in addition to the usual pots and pans.) the hosts are ridiculously friendly and have already given us fresh eggs and a chunk of the smoked cheddar that they make on top of the local mead that was waiting for us in the fridge when we arrived.

yesterday started out like it should: we went out for breakfast in a nearly empty restaurant near home, packed our things at a reasonable pace, and had an easy time getting a ferry and finding the place. when we moved our things inside, the dog wasn't exploring the space, she was staying right by the door.

well, it turns out she was hanging out by the door because there's a runner there. she did come upstairs early on when i called her to come with me, and then she went right back by the door. she takes time to get used to new spaces, so i didn't think much of it until i was ready for bed and called her to come with me. she scrabbled a bit coming over, then skidded on the stairs and rushed back to the runner by the door and cowered there, shaking.

the flooring everywhere in the place is very smooth wood laminate.

she won't put a paw on the floor, the floor is lava. last night was rough; she was refusing her favorite treats and not touching her food, which is her signal of extreme agitation and distress. we finally got something in her by spreading wet food on a plastic lid and holding it for her to lick since she wouldn't touch it if we put it on the floor in front of her. and i realized: our kitchen has flooring like the flooring here.** i never observed her having any traction issues in our kitchen, but now i'm positive that we were making her do the equivalent of negotiating a sheet of ice every time she wanted to eat or drink, for years. so i had a meltdown. i was so damn tired and so very guilty, and i felt like a total fuckup.

we pulled out the sofabed so that we could be near her instead of going to a location she couldn't get to at all, since she was so miserable. the sofabed, unlike the lovely bed upstairs, has a shit mattress where you can feel all the support bars. i slept hard once i fell asleep, but i've been wrecked all day today. it's not just the mattress, the feeling reminds me of the kind of shaky post-adrenaline feel i get after falling down and picking myself up again.

we collected every throw and area rug in the place, plus the yoga mats,*** and have patched together a dog-safe area on the main floor that covers most of the living area where we hang out. i did some research and learned that we had also done her a disservice by not having her nails short enough - they dig in with them like cleats when they need traction, and if they're too long on slippy surfaces the dog ends up lifting their paw pads off the floor when they try to grip and it makes things worse. fortunately the local pet store does walk-in nail trims, so that's done (she hated it). she's still mostly hanging out in her safe place, but i've coaxed her in by the couch a few times today. so maybe she'll feel up to exploring the carpet archipelago before we go home.

i think tonight we're going to try sleeping upstairs because the sofabed isn't sustainable. i considered trying to take her back home for boarding, but they want a vaccination for canine influenza that we haven't gotten yet, so that's just another way that we're failures at taking care of the dog. maybe in time we'll laugh about this.




*it's actually the Ides of March but having an event/travel on a Tuesday is just weird. on the actual evening we went out to dinner at the same place we went in 2020. besides being a gluten-free kitchen, they're still asking for vax cards, bless them

**we had trouble when her food was in the kitchen - she wouldn't go in if anyone else was there, and howled when any visitor got near the kitchen doorway. we thought she was unhappy about the confined space - it's narrow and has one entrance. we moved her food station during the pandemic and all skittishness around food ended. she doesn't even care if we step over her while she eats. and while she looks in, she never puts all four paws in the kitchen.

***did i mention this place is ridiculously well-appointed? there's even one of those laptop rests with fans innit.

I am in travel hell, again.

Four hours and twenty minutes to a response in a support chat that was supposed to be faster than calling. Over two hours to a "sixty minute" callback. Gate agent couldn't help. App kept sending me to a non-existent page.

I managed to get rescheduled via app through sheer will. If I hadn't I'd be in Chicago with no way home instead of back at mom's house since the callback came through after the delayed flight that ruined my connection home was boarding.

Did I mention that I only discovered this am that I'd been bumped to the O'Hare route instead of Dulles?

Oh yeah, tomorrow I get a two-hop through Texas to get home. Fuck this sideways

did a coastal hike, saw three seals. looked like something out of a fantasy novel, with smooth flat moss terraces and spiky rock outcroppings.

also found a source of local yarn for local people in natural dark brown and natural light brown. it's quite hearty, should be destined for a pair of mittens for C.

as was foretold, we are spending our anniversary on Lopez Island. a year ago today we had our last meal out. this morning i watched a helicopter deliver vaccine doses to a clinic being held at the island community center.

we're in a charming wee octagonal cottage with 10 skylights, around 20 houseplants, and a woodstove. (it also has excellent wifi, a roku tv with most of the streaming services, and full cel phone service which just feels bizarre.) it's less than five minutes' walk to the beach, groceries, coffee shop, and bookstore. Leela is very happy with the level of local wildlife activity. we haven't yet figured out how an ordinary person could make a living here without tourists, but the demographics suggest that there are a lot of retirees.

it's quite flat for Washington, so there are lots of drainage ditches and bits of wetland. there are walking paths rather than sidewalks, but since it's the unenriched grey soil of the area, it might as well be concrete. the "village" we're in is odd...like a loose cluster of businesses rather than a town. the loose cluster of businesses includes a tiny UW Medicine clinic with a helipad. actual homes seem to be strung out farther away. we walked past this place on the morning dog walk; there's a lot of solar panels on buildings here but this was the first we saw with solar hot water.

we're here for the rest of the week; there will be more exploring and some hiking to come, but for now it's all quiet domesticity with different walls and different walks. being married remains awesome and i'm glad to be having a saf(er) adventure to celebrate.

our annual group camping trip ended up just being me and C this year (we even boarded Leela). ( covid risk/mitigation talk )

it was a lovely time. i read at least one book a day and as many comics collections as the library would let me check out. i worked on a mindless knitting project. we cooked over the fire, and hiked, and sat by the lake, and did a sightseeing drive up route 20. i broke down and bought an air mattress* so there was extra-comfy lounging and cuddling and napping. i had not one, but two hobbies fail me: we couldn't get a big enough car to hold my kayak,** and i had battery failures for the Nikon *and* the GoPro...so i explored being that person who takes pictures with an iPad. not having the dog in camp meant that there were chipmunks literally underfoot and fewer squirrel lasers.

the creek near the north campground has a tendency to wander due to trees falling down the mountain during storm season. the old bed has been dry for over 10 years now, and it's no longer a barren strip of rocks:


i think the new bed is well on its way to undercutting the campground loop road in a year or two.
( the creek trying to take out the road )

for some reason we never drove eastward before this year. there are a ton of scenic viewpoints up the mountain and trailheads we hadn't tried before. so there were pictures of the lake from above and a hike by a creek where there used to be prospecting for garnets and gold.
( views of Diablo Lake )

we made a lot of great food; i especially loved the night we made steak over the fire and roasted beets. there's something really satisfying about just slipping the skin off of a fork-tender beet. the grocery randomly had heritage eggs so we had blue-shelled eggs with vivid yolks for our breakfasts. C also figured out on this trip that he could use potato chips instead of graham crackers for gluten-free s'mores. (salty chips are delicious with the marshmallow and chocolate. i'm looking forward to perfecting this with Pringles and never buying graham crackers again.)
( roasted beets )
( hash with heritage eggs )



*we've always slept on thermarests like Serious Campers, not an air mattress like Wusses or Old People. i'm accepting my cronehood now, i guess.
**there were lots of day users getting in and out of the lake, and i think my corona paranoia would have made assembling and disassembling my folding boat near people nerve-wracking, so even though there were a couple of perfect paddling days i probably had a more relaxing trip without it.

i am not currently over the Rockies, i am in a hotel room in Glen Burnie, MD for my sins.

as is apparently the rule now, severe weather on the east coast turned a three hour highway trip (from central PA to BWI) into seven, complete with highway closures and detours onto unplowed roads. my brother B is in the other bed, snoring. he is the hero of the day, driving in horrible conditions, helping me to decide when to give up on making the flight and call the airline, and getting us into a hotel. as it was, it was so fucking close...i would have arrived at the airport exactly as the plane was taking off.

i was supposed to have tomorrow at home to decompress. i was supposed to walk the dog and go out for breakfast and take a nap and cry as much as i needed to.

* * *

i did everything i was here to do: got Dad to his last specialist appointments, moved him out of skilled nursing near Pittsburgh and into assisted living near State College, did all the errands and shopping required, set up all the electronics, moved a refrigerator, made five hats, replaced the blinds in the office, knit a gift for a physical therapist, cleaned the sewing room, hung a quilt and art on the walls, sat in on meetings with the assisted living director and a call with the attorney, and made Mom a roll of bias binding. i also tore up the frostbitten marigolds.*

i drove a lot, and i sat through a lot of Hallmark Christmas movies. (remember when Stuff White People Like was a thing? those movies, wow. they deserve a post.)

i am not entirely ready to talk much about how Dad is doing, but i will note that he is not suffering from dementia and for that i am deeply grateful. Mom is doing pretty well, considering, and i enjoyed visiting with her and we managed to not yell at each other too much. (we have a lot in common, which makes conflict inevitable.)

i miss C so much, and i am carefully avoiding looking at work stuff.

and trying not to be angry that i can't go home on time. again.

*i like to look at plants, but i don't like gardening, especially going out in the cold rain to pull up dying plants with mushy leaves.

TSA wants you there 2 hours before your flight. But they're not open two hours before your flight.

***
At gate with bacon egg and cheese bagel. Dunkin Donuts guy was profoundly confused that I said no to coffee. (I hope to sleep.)

This is the first non-snack food I have eaten in 24 hours. Please sit well.

Lots of folks here who slept in the terminal. I didn't really sleep at the hotel, too wound up. But I did have my own toilet, and a shower, and privacy for crying. I thought I was through that, and I almost got through the call to let down mom and dad until they told me they made me an apple dumpling. And the thought of my mom's pastry going cold on the table did me in. Hell, I'm crying about now.

I just heard someone say they haven't slept for two days. Every person at this gate has a story like mine.

woke up at 3am. arrived at airport to discover that a) security theater has reached ridiculous new heights (I got a pat down for wearing cargo pants) and b) my flight was delayed FIVE HOURS.

my one-hop is now a two-hop, but I'll be arriving at a teeny regional that is closer to my final destination. yay for less driving, boo for the tiny plane into the Appalachians that has historically made me puke.